i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
