Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
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