So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
