I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
