I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
