it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you never un-have a 4some
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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