we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
