Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize