Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
