just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Everything about him screamed your future.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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