This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize