The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
