if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
