We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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