There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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