that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize