I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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