I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
