One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
