Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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