I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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