I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
