We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
