we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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