How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
