Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
