If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
