Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
