My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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