apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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