People with herpes should wear stickers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize