Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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