Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
