I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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