Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
