talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
