remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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