whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I looked at my own cervix.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
