He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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