I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
