why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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