My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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