I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When are your genitals available?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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