He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
