Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
