Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
