So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
