I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
