Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
