He is such a slut. More and more my type.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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