Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
