I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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