Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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