This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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