you're like a bully in the Christmas story
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize