how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
