he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
