So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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