Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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