Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize