i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
