WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Alive.
So much puke
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
