Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
